Rules for Friendship

I want to love you without clutching,
Appreciate you without judging,
Join you without invading,
Invite you without demanding,
Leave you without guilt,
Criticize you without blaming,
Help you without insulting,
If I can have the same from YOU
then we can truly meet and enrich each other.

–Virginia Satir

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Life Sucks and Then You Die. Let’s Sing About It.

A satirical song by yours truly called “Life Sucks.”  It will make you laugh.  Unless you have no sense of humor.

Eddie’s Attic Open Mic May 9th:   http://eddiesattic.fargotube.com/view.aspx?2482

If you like this song and want more like it, let me know because I’ve got some more material.

Thanks for listening!

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Social Networking O.C.D.

Do you find yourself checking your social media accounts obsessively?  If so, you may be suffering from what most modern age folks are suffering from:  Social Networking Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.   There’s unfortunately no medication for it.   The only way to be free of this condition is to shut down all of your accounts.  Godspeed soldier.

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Unplugged from the Matrix

Ciao!  I have officially deactivated my Facebook page and I haven’t missed a thing.  Now I have more free time to take naps and eat food.

Why did I do such a thing you may ask?  Frankly, I had a couple of annoying stalkers.   Well, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

In the words of the great Charlie Sheen:  WINNING!!

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What Not to Bring into a Public Bathroom

‘Cuz it’s just gross!  (Really:  there is no way that you can manage the below items and not get your grubby feces-encrusted germs on them)

  • Open beer bottle that you are currently drinking
  • Pet turtle
  • Coffee/Tea
  • Sandwich (any kind)
  • Slice of pizza
  • Cell phone  (when using it while you pee and wipe)
  • iPod (same as above)
  • Play-doh
  • Children’s toys
  • stress ball
  • Chiuahua/Toy Dog
  • ice cream cone
  • lollipop
  • library book

Feel free to comment and add to this list if I missed anything.  God Speed!

Below is the Miss Manners article that inspired this post:

 

This seems to be a recurring problem (see below)

And another concerned citizen writes in…

Dear Abby: I work in a large department store attached to a shopping mall. Because many of the stores have no rest rooms, customers come into our store to use the facilities. I’m happy they do because it gives us more business. However, I’m confused by some of the patrons.

I think it shows good manners to end a cell phone call when visiting a rest room. While I was in there today, a woman entered the stall next to me and continued talking on her phone the entire time she was in there!

It’s disgusting, but it happens all the time. I’m uncomfortable using the rest room while someone is on the phone, and I’d be very offended if I was on the other end of the line.

What’s proper etiquette regarding cell phones in public rest rooms? Is there anything I could say to someone who does this? — Trying to Do My Business

Dear Trying: Your complaint is one I’m hearing increasingly often. For your safety, I do not advise correcting the manners of a stranger.

While common sense and consideration for others (including the person on the other end of the line as well as the occupant of the next stall) would dictate conversation be put on hold while on the toilet, nothing you or I can do will prevent this invasion of personal privacy — short of bringing a loud whoopee cushion with you during breaks and squeezing it in self-defense.

P.S. If you think we have it bad in the ladies’ room, I have also heard about men talking on their cell phones while standing at the urinals. Heaven help us.

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Fake memories are cooler than real ones

Maybe you’ve been in this situation before or have been the person to make other people be in this situation…

You’re invited to a wedding where you don’t know the bride and groom that well, and it’s expected that you write down a fond memory that you shared with the bride or groom on one of the index cards at your table.    I wrote down on my card the only thing I remember doing with the couple which was going to some random restaurant one time.  When others found out what I was writing,  I was met with disapproval.

On the other hand, my husband, took a different approach.  He wrote a FAKE memory on his card.   Something to the effect of what is written on the above card in the picture.   That he and the groom were superheros and have shared many a memory battling injustice.   When other people at the table read his card, he was celebrated and was acknowledged for writing the best memory.

The moral of the story is that fake memories are better than real ones as long as they are more interesting and make people smile.

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Oscar Predictions

Here it is people, my Oscar Predictions.  I have a background in film so I’m probably not too far off.  Well, I can only hope.  It may be a learning experience for me.   (I did skip some fringe categories because I haven’t seen everything under the sun).  Let’s see how many I get right…

 

Best Picture: The Social Network

Actor in a Leading Role: Colin Firth for The King’s Speech

Actor in a Supporting Role: Christian Bale for The Fighter

Actress in a Leading Role: Natalie Portman for Black Swan

Actress in a Supporting Role: Hailee Steinfeld for True Grit

Animated Feature Film: Toy Story 3

Art Direction: Inception

Cinematography: Inception

Costume Design: Alice in Wonderland

Directing: Black Swan

Film Editing: Black Swan or 127 Hours (I’m undecided)

Music (Original Score): The Social Network  (Trent Reznor and Atticus Rose)

Sound Editing and Sound Mixing: Inception

Writing (Adapted Screenplay): Whoo!  This is a tough one.  All nominees totally rock.

Writing (Original Screenplay): The Fighter

 

If I get most of these correct,  I would like to be showered with presents.  It’s the least that you can do.

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Some fun pie charts.   Obviously they’re a little exaggerated but you get the idea.   Trying to dramatically shift from a life of pain to a life of good.   (I didn’t write it in but my husband always keeps me company when doing anything from hiding from society to hanging with nut jobs to hanging with friends or family).

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The Oatmeal Comics

Fun with Grammar

OMG soooo funny. You won't regret it.

The Oatmeal is HILARIOUS.   Best way to learn English Grammar.  Seriously.

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Winter Nasal Blues

I moved to the south to get away from the cold weather and the snow:  what I have learned is my attempts were futile.   It’s been freaking cold as hell here and has already snowed a lot.  Thus Vasomotor Rhinitis struck again!   And in true form I have been sick for over a month and I am resistant to the current antibiotics.   Curses!!

Maybe if I get brave enough I’ll let the ENT burn the inside of my nose like he suggested.   Still not there yet on that one.

Hey, there’s always Southern California!  Now just got to figure out how to get there…

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